Friday, November 1, 2013

Whatsoever Things Are Lovely

This is my newest grand-daughter, Audrey Lola. She was born on Oct. 4, and this photo of her is from yesterday, Halloween. She is wearing her spidey jammies.

This is part of the rest of our trick or treating gang. From left are my two youngest daughters, the little one is my great niece, the two little boys are my great nephews, and Alice there in front is my other grand-daughter (Audrey's big sister, Natalie.)

And this is my coffee table that a week ago was unpainted wood, and now it is teal blue, thanks to my hubs, The Chief! I was VERY unsure about the whole thing when he took my furniture to the back yard and started sanding, but I think I love it. A lot. 

These are all lovely things, are they not? 

Know what's not lovely? The short stories we have been studying in English Comp 2. Not lovely at all. "A Rose For Emily"(Faulkner). "The Lottery".(Jackson). "Hills Like White Elephants"(Hemingway).  "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"(Oates).  These are just a few that we have studied, and I actually read some of the other stories that we AREN'T studying.
What do these stories have in common?
*Classic Literature
*Studied and interpreted and studied some more.
*Included in an anthology for an English class.
*Dark, grim, and icky.
*Not lovely

It seems as if that trend continues. The dark, grim, and icky seems to be popular with society. I base this observation on the fact that I learned to avoid anything that had been an "Oprah Book Club" selection, and many on the "Best Sellers" list for the very reason that they lean toward the dark side. 

In studying these stories, we have learned some about the authors, and what the critics think. It is well known that many authors as well as other artsy types are a moody bunch to start with. Then we hear about how maybe their mothers didn't love them, or they weren't accepted in their community (in the case of Oates) or, in the case of  the poet Robert Frost, his daughters were divorced and his son died, and this is why he had depression and wrote some dark poetry. 

Listen. Basic human nature is not lovely. Life circumstances are not always lovely. Depression is not lovely. Man's inhumanity to man is not lovely. 

I have an intimate knowledge of some unlovely things. 
Very recently I was reminded of some things from my past that I don't really dwell on because it is the past and because it is dark and icky.
Once upon a time, in another life, I was married to this guy. He was a meth addict/dealer, and an emotional manipulator, and a terrible husband. Honest to goodness I was so naive....I had no idea that there were people that actually lived and behaved this way!  Every time I wanted out, he would either be really really good for awhile or threaten violence or suicide.  But then he would tell me things like he couldn't take me "out" with him, because I didn't act or dress right for his crowd. Then he left me for a TEENAGER!!!!!

And then 5 years ago October, he hung himself.

Then there was some other stuff. 
And then some other stuff. 

We've declared bankruptcy...been homeless except for the kindness of family. Then Joey died. And then a lot of other stuff stemming from that experience. 
Including not only coping with the death of my son, but watching other of my loved ones suffer from that loss and not being able to do anything!!!
And some other stuff.

Oh, and I do live with bipolar 2 disorder, which lends itself to very intense moods. 

Honestly, I have a point. 
I know about darkness.
The devil knows my name.
I'v smelled the brimstone of hell.
Been singed by demons dogging my steps and grasping for me.
I'v been to the dark side of the moon.

I much prefer to walk in the light!!

And while I DO write in the darkest hour, NOBODY EVER READS that stuff because in the writing of it, I am purging  toxins, and if I served them up for public consumption, it would be like spreading a virus. Like a zombie apocalypse!  Why would I do that???
I would NOT, but apparently, many many many other authors DO do that, and society EATS IT UP!! 

So I don't know that writing will ever really soar for me, because I OBJECT to the spreading of unloveliness, and it seems to me like the world at large could use some more LIGHT rather than grimness, but it also seems like it doesn't want it. 

There is a verse in scripture that says: 
Philippians 4:8 
 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

So in dwelling on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report....
I WON'T be dwelling on the things that AREN'T, which then lends itself to peace, contentment, joyfulness, and LIGHT!!!

And that is my latest gripe about English Composition, and why I don't actually think I will ever be a published's the grim stuff that seems to appeal to humanity, and grim is not my style.

But I will live (probably) to quack another day!