Saturday, September 21, 2013

Joy of the moment

I don't generally do much in the way of seasonal decor. I just don't take the time to decide what I want, acquire it, place it...and then in awhile I have to change it and then store all that stuff!!
I'm on a mission, however, to shake the funk that iv been in. I love fall and it's colors so as part of my intention to appreciate the joys of the moment, this is what iv been up too....

And look at this cutie pumpkin that my thoughtful and talented sis in law made and gave to me!

Guess what? This stuff does give me a shot of the smilies! 
Now if I can just stay out of the spiced cider and pumpkin everything.....

Monday, September 16, 2013

I am not who I think I am

          I somehow find myself in an alternate reality, where everything I thought I knew about myself is an illusion and I am free falling in a surreal universe, more unsure than ever where I actually fit into the world at large.
    For example, until the test today, I have an A in Algebra. And not an A in English. On the rare occasion that I actually get what is going on, I get a kick out of untangling the puzzle that is an algebraic equation. I am not getting a kick out of formal writing (dry, dusty and pretentious) or analyzing literature. (The point is....?)
Also, apparently I have forgotten (if I ever really knew) the rules for comma usage.  Naturally I understand that "I like cooking my family and gin rummy." needs a comma. After cooking, I would guess, but am having some anxiety about whether or not a comma should go after "my family" . My gut feeling is that, yes, there should be a comma there, but I am not 100% positive at this point. When turning "lone" into loneliness, one should leave the "e" right there, as well as in sincere-to-sincerely.  That just makes since when one really ponders the situation, but I have a bad habit of dropping the e. I don't know why.
     When reading the above paragraph, be aware that there is probably a number of comma errors there, and every last one knocks off points.
     Currently, we are reading (or have read, about 15 times) "A Rose For Emily" by Faulkner. Some of you may be aware that this is a short story. Personally, I had never heard of it before. I remember reading "Beowulf", "The Red Badge Of Courage", and "Lord of the Flies" in high school, but I don't remember "A Rose for Emily". Pretty sure I would remember it if we had read it. It's bad enough to be memorable. After reading and woefully misinterpreting the one act play "Trifles", (honestly, I thought that Mr. Wright was just a depressed introverted man without a sense of humor. I missed the whole "emotionally abusive" part.) I read "A Rose For Emily" a bunch of times and then looked up all the Cliff Notes, etc. Honestly. This wasn't really great writing. I had the whole thing figured out pretty quickly. There wasn't a lot of suspense or surprises. I wasn't even surprised by the skeleton in the bed. I already knew that was going to happen. Some of the notes that I studied mention that perhaps her father's control of her is what damaged Emily and caused her mental illness, but early in the story there was mention of an aunt who had been mentally ill, and it was clear then that mental illness was going to play a part in this story.
     I find it almost unbearable that so many people have spent so much time studying this story. What if Faulkner didn't MEAN anything by this story? What if it was JUST A STORY, and not all that well executed? A GOOD story would have some suspense and some surprises, and maybe some sort of redeeming quality. As it is, it is just a dusty, dark story about a woman who was a nut job, and not even interesting.
Here is an algebraic equation in word problem form: If you have 500 things to do, and 2000 things to think about in a 24 hour period of time, how much time do you have to devote to each task? Let us call "things to do" D, and let us call "things to think about" T.
You have 7.984 seconds for thinking each thought and 3 seconds for each task.
The end.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Au Naturale

     The more I know, the more interested I am in moving away from chemicals and whatnot in everything from food to cleaning products to personal care, and am more convinced than ever that prevention and holistic remedies are good alternatives for health care.
     Case in point: I don't talk much (anymore, since I went off the deep end, attempted to become an advocate, and pretty much just annoyed everyone) about the bipolar 2 diagnosis I received at age 43.( Also, it seems to be the fad these days, like it's a contest concerning who is crazier, who has the most issues, and the most meds,  and i don't really want to be identified with that bandwagon).Until that time, I just assumed that I was a lame lame LAME person with a multitude of deep ugly character flaws. And then a delightful person came into my life, one who is now a very good friend, who was a psychiatric nurse, and she is the one who said, "Ya know, I don't want to offend you, but this is what it looks like to me."  So, for a couple of years, I tracked all my crazy mood swings, manias and depressions, phobias, anxieties, and whatnot, and then I went to the doc. At one point, I was on 5 different serious medications: seroquel, depakote, lamictal, trazedone, and some something for anxiety. Clonazipam or some such. Upside: I slept really good for the first time in EVER! I was paying a fortune in meds, and then I was becoming toxic, with some unpleasant side effects, and then my p-doc added one more med (an antidepressant) and that just upset the whole apple cart, and I was crazy manic again. At that point, I decided that it just wasn't worth it, I had lived 43 years without meds, and they really weren't improving the quality of my life much, except for the sleep thing.
     Disclaimer: this is my very own experience. Other experiences may vary.
I went off of aaaaaallllll that medication and researched alternative therapies.  I cleaned up my diet, started getting some exercise, started doing some yoga and meditation, (oh, and prayed A is my belief that our weaknesses, every one of them, are simply opportunities for God to show His power.) and I started taking the herbal supplement, Passion Flower. Wah Lah. I can't say that I am cured, by any means, but I manage a whole lot better than I did when I was on all of those meds, and I haven't had a MAJOR episode of mania/depression in a couple of years, EVEN through the whole ordeal of this past year. AND I manage a BUNCH better than some who are on traditional meds.
     I get a lot of funny looks and protests when I mention how much I believe yoga and meditation has helped me. However, my daughter was just recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder...(why do the call it that, I wonder? It makes it sound like Baby Duck 3 has a problem with her personality, which she doesn't....she has a TERRIFIC personality), and besides a low dose of antidepressant, guess what was part of the RX?  Oh, meditation!! WHAT NOW, doubters? :)
      Case #2: Baby Duck 5 got strep every single time it was in the country. Every. Time. Horrible nasty strep....she even got Scarlet Fever once. She was tested and came back as a carrier, and we were just about to schedule a tonsillectomy,  and stuff happened and we didn't have insurance any more, so I started treating her with an essential oil...a blend of oregano, cinnamon, and clove. She did not have strep for THREE YEARS!!!! And then the company I purchased from discontinued it. Use Oregano oil, it's even better, I was advised. Lies, all lies! She has had strep THREE TIMES just in the last few months, and now we are back to talking about a tonsillectomy.

All of that to say....I have problem hair. It has no personality. It just lies there, all limp and depressed, and even the most expensive of hair products couldn't shake it out of it's rut.  And then I found this:
It was on a shelf at the local wally world, 7 bucks for a bottle, but a little goes a long way, and it lasted for months. No product build up, no conditioner needed....I love this stuff. But now I can't find it anymore, and I refuse to use anything else on my hair. Then I read a few articles/posts about going no 'poo. Which sort of fits into my desire to eliminate as many chemicals as possible from my life. Anyway, the idea is to wash hair with baking soda and rinse with vinegar, and wah lah. Party hair! 
     I wouldn't go so far as to say that I now have party hair, but after the first week or so of readjustment, my hair is at least as good as it was when using Tio Nacho. I'm sold! We will see what effect long term no 'poo has. In the meantime, it's no longer a tragedy that I can't get this shampoo anymore. 

    In other news, we had a baby shower for Baby Duck 1, (shown below, with me) was fun, but we didn't have a real big turn out. I don't know who's bright idea it was to have it on Labor Day weekend. (Oh, wait. That was me.)

This is an impromptu party we had for Grandbaby Duck. Her 10th birthday is Friday, (9/6)but we impulsively decided to have some cake while Papa and Daddy were unexpectedly home in the middle of the week. Who knows when they will be home again! 

This is baby duck 1 and her hubs....

doing this!! Roasting Hatch green chili on the grill!

The thing I miss most about New Mexico is the fall chili roasting! Seems like maybe this part of Texas is trying to catch on, but locally, they roasted for only a couple of days! But we found (at wally world) cases of Hatch green chili, minus the roasting. Where there is a will, there is a way! Here we have grill roasted green chilis, and man, did they ever smell ahhhhh-mazing.

    If your wondering, I still hate math and it is ruining my life. And I have a very nice seeming professor who makes me feel vaguely stupid for not immediately catching on. 

That is all. 
Tootles until next time!