Come with me now

     I recently read an article about plus size models. Did you know that they wear pads to make them more "plus size" in certain places?? Like hips and bum and boobs. Their waists/bellies are not padded. Therefore, it is not a true representation of plus sized women, and those clothes do not fit actual plus sized women like that. That's pretty bogus, if you ask me, but what might one expect from the advertising world? Never mind actual real people of a certain size that might enjoy looking and feeling nice in their clothes. Let's just manipulate them into spending money on disappointment!

    I also recently read an article (I read a lot of articles) about another diet. It was actually in that one weekly mag that features a different "diet" every week. What surprised me is that this is a diet plan that I have only heard of from one other person, and didn't actually get that it was a "real" thing. So it's the "Fit Healthy Mama" diet, and the premise is: One can eat both carbs AND fat! Just not together.  If  one has a higher fat meal, it should be low carb. If one has a high carb meal, it should be low fat.
      This makes a certain kind of sense, and seems not too complicated. Until you think about it for a minute. What exactly do they call "low carb" or "low fat"? Clearly, one of my favorite breakfasts of rye or sourdough (higher in resistant starch) toast with peanut butter and a banana would be a no go.  Carb, carb, fat. Nope.  My other favorite breakfast of eggs, asparagus, and half a grapefruit seems like it would fit, if the eggs were cooked with a tiny amount of fat.  (Who ever would have thought of having asparagus for breakfast?? Not me, but it was in the meal plan with the Brazil Butt Lift program, and I tried and loved it! Too bad asparagus is so seasonal...and pricey.)
    I will spare you every thought I had, but I was curious and wanted to know more and lo and behold, there is a book on Amazon for this diet plan! I desperately want to read it, but it costs $30.  I have purchased and read SO MANY "diet plan" books, and now i'm over it. I refuse to get sucked into another one.
    It seems to me that this whole thing should not be so complicated! I mean, come on! There are a bazillion different "diet plans" and each one has a compelling argument for it. (Also someone somewhere is making a bunch of money on it.) I have tried many, including good old fashioned calorie counting. I have lost a significant amount of fat twice, and then regained it...twice. (Incidentally, yo-yoing is not good for the heart.)  It stands to reason that the best "plan" would be the one that is actually a change in eating patterns forever! Of course, I have read this a bazillion times. This is what Sparkpeople preaches constantly. But I hate counting calories, and know myself well enough to know that that only lasts a short time until i'm fed up with it.
    The truth is, I have to lose the weight again. Clearly, I am not vain enough to keep it off for appearance sake. It truly is a matter of life and death.
     Once upon a time, I had an hourglass figure.  Now i'm an apple. Or, a pumpkin. One of those prize winning giant ones. Most of my fat lands right on my belly, and that is why I really just need some maternity clothes.
     And, well, belly fat is the worst kind of fat, cardiovascularly speaking.

Did you know this is heart health month? Red Dress and all that. Since this has recently become a subject of great interest to me, let's talk about that!
     I'm a woman. I'm 49 years old. I have spent the better part of 4 years attempting to outrun my genetics, which leans towards heart disease. Losing weight, working out, etc etc.
I have a strong immune system and hardly ever get sick. When I do get sick, it's pretty mild. For example, if everyone else in the house is puking up their guts, I feel a bit nauseous.
     But I have heart "disease".  I didn't even know until it almost killed me! I mean, who would of thought??? I didn't have a heart attack. I don't have high cholesterol or clogged arteries. I actually thought I had pneumonia which my doctor was treating me for. So when I could not breath, I just waited for the antibiotics to work.  If my daughters had not insisted that I go to the ER, I  might well have died. Turns out my heart was not pumping effectively, and all of me was filling up with fluid, including my lungs and around my heart.  Boom, congestive heart failure. The very thing I was working so hard to avoid. And GUESS WHAT? The whole event was likely exacerbated by all the water I was drinking!!! As it turns out, the more fluid I drink, the greater my blood volume, and the harder it is on my heart. So, i'm on fluid restriction. Really!! Opposite of what we are told for healthfulness!!
    I had pre-eclampsia with baby 3.
    I tried to take birth control twice, and was removed from it twice, because it caused high blood pressure.(Hence, 5 children.)
    Did you know that these are indicators of future heart disease?
    I did not.
    Apparently, i didn't read enough articles about it.
     Incidentally, the fact that I had gestational diabetes is an indicator of future diabetes that I also have to watch out for.

This is my life, and why it is imperative to lose this belly fat.
If we're going to be real and honest, let's just say that cake is not allowed in this house from this day forth. Not that I can never have a piece of cake, but it can't live in my house, because I will eat it until it's gone.
Also, Burger King runs must cease. Often, after running around after Audrey all day and then needing to clean up after her and do my own stuff,  i'm not overly enthused about cooking dinner for 2 or 3 people. It is far easier to get fast food, and if you know i'm on a tight budget, it's less expensive for two people than my random grocery shopping.
Clearly, those two skill sets needs addressing...cooking for two (or three) people, and efficient grocery shopping.
My plan is to nourish my body moderately and normally, without excess thought about this or that or whatever, with food that contains actual nourishment and in reasonable portions and get the exercise in, and not eating out of boredom or for emotional reasons.
We will see how that goes.

And now you know the real root of my weight issues.
And I do too.

And i'm almost 50. 5-0. FIFTY!!!! Whaaaaaat????? How, what, when??? 50???
It's not that I mind growing older. To tell the truth, the forties have been my best decade yet. (As far as being comfortable being me and whatnot...)
But 50?
I'm pretty bummed, because four years ago I was certain that I was going to be one hawt fit granny by 50, but i'm actually nearly right back where I started from, and it's only two months until the big 5-0.  That makes me irritated with myself and also discouraged.
Also, I can pretty much guarantee that I am PASSED middle age. I mean, barring random accidents or catastrophic illness, it still is unlikely that I will live to be 100.
Certainly not, if I don't get heart healthy.
It's not that I mind aging, it's that I am forced to face my mortality and to think about all the things I have wanted to do that I haven't done, and the clock is ticking. My life has not gone at all how I meant it too, and i'm running out of time to change course.
If I had it all to do over again, I would have done something useful with my brain and been the Chief's sugah momma.
Is it too late for that?

 We are thinking of looking into getting a treadmill for the house. That way, we could go for a walk only wearing sneakers if we wanted too! I mean, I wouldn't want to, but it would be an option! I might like to see the Chief do it, hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!!! Anyway, we will see how the job and the budget go, but it's a thought.


   It has been beautiful and sunny and warm the last few days! It is just sooo glorious to feel the weight of dark and dreary lifted up by one ray of sunlight!

     Sun hits you, Hallelujah!
     Sun hits you, Hallelujah!
'Cause summer funk gonna give it to ya!

That's a paraphrase.

It is amazing to me how warmth and sunshine changes the whole landscape of my thoughts and feelings, and I know that another freeze and probably more gloom and cold are somewhere in the near future, I have seen the light and i'm ready to take on life again!

How 'bout you?

  Whoa, come with me now!
  I'm gunna take you down!
   Whoa, come with me now!
  I'm gunna show you how!

I don't really know what that means, but that's my jam.

Quack.