Negative Infinity Cubed. And diced. Maybe shredded, too.

I sort of regret that my posts don't have pictures. All the really good ones do. On the other hand, I don't care enough to take the time to learn how to take good pics/post them on the blog, evidently!

So, here I am, catching up. I meant to write a "Joey" tribute on the first anniversary of his death. (June 11.) However, I ended up having a mini-melt down instead. Plus, I had hours and hours of homework. And then my daddy died THE VERY NEXT DAY!

My daddy died.

One year and one day after Joey died.

WHAT???

It was time for daddy to go. He was so sick and so miserable, and he was at peace. Still, one never really wants to lose a parent, even when one is well aware that nobody is immortal.
I don't think that I have really fully absorbed that I won't ever again see him in his recliner, or shuffling to the bathroom, or hear him calling my mama "Sugar". 

The timing was just so crazy!! Through the whole ordeal, I often had "deja vu" moments. He passed on June 12. Joey died on June 11.  Services for him were the day before Father's Day, and the day before Christopher's birthday. Joey's funeral was the day AFTER Father's Day, two days after Chris's birthday. Same time last year. So weird!

I came home from that to an algebra test! That, naturally, I did not study for. I had other things going on, ya know.

Speaking of Algebra....

Summer school was the worst idea ever!!!! And I may have the worst instructor ever! It occurs to me that I am paying him to teach me algebra. So teach me already!!! Golly gee willikers! This is how it goes: he gives us a brief outline of the very basics out of two chapters every day. Every! Day! And then I come home and do homework online. Two chapters worth. And guess what!! The problems on the homework bear very little resemblance to what he showed us!! Fortunately, there is a feature that says "see similar problem", which shows me how to work through that kind of problem, and that is how I have been teaching myself. It takes HOURS, though!! I spend four hours a day, M-Th, in class (English, then math) and then I have at LEAST 4-6 hours of math homework, plus English! In doing my homework today, the "see similar problem" feature is GONE, so I was clueless, missed half of the problems, and at this point I! DON'T! CARE! I just want to be done! I don't even care if I FAIL! I'll take the class again during the regular semester, have a basic idea of what's going on, and maybe just maybe have a chance to actually learn this stuff.
And then there is English. I honestly thought that this class was going to be an easy A. Silly me. This isn't high school. And anyway, high school was thirty years ago.  I do well on the grammar portion, although I have forgotten some of the rules. I am VERY frustrated with the writing portion! I really don't know what this man wants from me, to start with! We have a book explaining the different kinds of essays, with samples of each kind. Except, the samples were written by professional writers, they break the rules, and are not Freshman essays, so we can't write like that. SO WHY are we using them for EXAMPLES??? Anywho, I got a c+ on my first essay, and after I cried and fussed and fumed, I had to admit that was probably generous. After all, I wrote the thing in the middle of two nights, after all that algebra, and it kind of sucked. I'm sure the one I turned in won't be all that much better, because I just remembered a sentence fragment in there that I meant to correct and never did. I am not crazy about formal writing. At all. (Sentence fragment.)

The good book says, God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.
This college thing is humbling! And I am not as smart as I thought I was. Which is pretty pathetic when you consider that I never thought I was all that brilliant. I did think I could write an essay without any problem, though.

So. I don't care. I DON'T CARE!! If I have to do them over, I just do. A waste of $600 bucks and a month I could have been going swimming and to the park with my grandkid, but ya live and you learn!
I don't cook, I don't clean, I don't do anything but go to school and do homework. Over and over. I eat what ever is put in front of me, and I am gaining my Freshman 15, I think!
Also, I completely lost my sense of humor for a minute or two, but I think it's coming back!


My daddy died. One year and one day after my baby duck, Joey.