It is December 31, New Years Eve, so therefore one must write a "New Year" post, right? Certainly, as the last page of 2013 is about to turn, reflection over the past year is not remiss.
For me, it seems as if it has been a very looooooooooooooong year! In fact, it has been the standard 12 months, like every other year, but it feels longer. On December 31, 2012, I was just gearing up to attend my first college class! I've only been "in college" for one year?? It feels like FOREVER!
I have a "happy jar" that I started on New Year's last year....i'm going to read all of my little notes tonight, but I stopped adding "happy notes" several months ago! Shame on me! I'm going to start a new one for this year, and hope to not drop the ball this time. I'm looking forward to reading what is in that jar, though. As I sit here mentally sifting through the year....there is just too much! Weddings and school and babies and death and pigs and, and, and.......!!!!
I am not making any resolutions...i'm lived through enough Januaries to know that resolutions are futile. Honestly, marking time by years is not really something I do anymore. I wake up every morning with new hope for a new day!
As I peer into the foggy specter of 2014, this is what I hope and plan for, with the disclaimer that any expectations are folly and only God knows what this year will really bring...
*Survive, mentally and emotionally, for as many days as God allows me days...
*Get through Savanna's tonsil surgery without having a heart attack.
*Be kind, compassionate and not selfish, and be a better, more thoughtful and considerate wife, mom, daughter, auntie, friend..
*Pass algebra like a rock star..
*Master this photo thing so that my posts have some visual interest, and so I can change my profile picture which is a year and a half old...
*For goodness sake, remember that all of those weight management efforts are not about vanity, but about FEELING GOOD and having the mental and emotional energy to live!
*Stop thinking I have to be my own hero and "let go and let God"....
And ditch my anger issues, which is not generally a problem for me. However, one might discern that there is a problem when one is writing and rewriting (mentally) a scene in a story wherein a strange little man is the protagonist who gets beat down by a girl (who has a face resembling one's self)....I actually have a pretty nasty temper, but it takes forever to awaken that dragon, and I am talking YEARS, decades even....i just don't get really angry that easily, and I make a point to deal with any anger as it comes up, so that it doesn't get to the point of blind rage, because that's just never pretty....however, I have become aware of quite a lot of anger bubbles, and it's not even at anyone or anything specific, just in general, and I'm pretty sure it probably has to do with a delayed grieving process....in any case, it's disturbing, and while i'm not happy with myself, i'm thankful to have become aware so that it can be dealt with and defused...
Movies aren't really my thing. I would far rather read a book, or have a conversation, or play a game of scrabble than watch movies. Of the ones I have watched, there are very very few that I thought were worth the time spent. Going to the movies, at a theater, is not something we, as a family are in the habit of. However, last night ducks 2 and 5 were going on a "siblings" date to see the Desolation of Smaug (A hobbit movie) and duck 3 was in town for a dr. appt, so she and I decided to tag along. Once I got past the sticker shock...(5 bucks for a soda??? No wonder we don't go to the theater! Pretty pricey form of entertainment!) i'm not sorry that I went! We watched it in 3D, and it ROCKED!
And that is the end of this New Year's post. Mostly because I just have a lot to do, since tomorrow is another holiday day....
What are your thoughts on 2014?
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